"The biggest failures of my life are Mohammad Ali Jinnah and my eldest son, Harilal!" - MK Gandhi
Hailed as the 'Father' of a population of 1.5 billion people (largest in the world) and a world-icon who single-handedly led his country to freedom from over three hundred years of British tyranny, Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi --- failed to be an ideal father to his four sons. Even his most dedicated loyalists would not vouch for the filial affection that existed between this 'father' and his own sons— Harilal, Manilal, Ramdas and Devdas! It's ironic yet true. This is a very different Gandhi from the common perception, far from the image that has been painted over the years! This is a facet of his personality, which is not taught in history books, not discussed in common gatherings or debates and neither mentioned in political campaigns!
A Barrister himself, MK Gandhi believed that receiving education at school was no good! He thought, one could learn much more by home schooling and develop a strong moral character than memorize facts in an institution outside the boundaries of one's house! He not only believed this theory but also imposed them upon his sons! Thanks to his distinguishably different and 'interesting' ideologies, none of his sons passed high school!
In spite of having the means and being an editor of an English newspaper in Durban, South Africa, Gandhi refused to send his sons to missionary schools and hired an English Governess instead, to teach his sons at home. Unfortunately for Harilal and Manilal, even this luxury did not last long as Harilal was sent to Rajkot (far from his hometown) in India, for education, because English was the medium of imparting knowledge in most of the schools in his hometown. As incredulous as it may seem…Harilal was soon summoned back to Durban by his illustrious father to quit his studies and join him in the Satyagraha movements!
These steps definitely sowed the seeds of difference between him and his obedient and dedicated sons. Gandhi did well to aggravate the already deteriorating equation between him and his son Harilal, in the years to come.
Like any other normal kid in such circumstances, Harilal too had notions and ideologies quite opposed to his father though he obeyed him in the initial years of his life. He did not endorse Gandhi's views on education and wanted to study further, which was hindered by his father's intrusion time and again. Though Gandhi encouraged sons of his distant relatives and acquaintances to go abroad for higher education by getting them scholarships, he thought otherwise when it came to his own sons. Perhaps the urge to maintain a clean and untarnished image in public and an uncanny nature of exhibiting his greatness was what refrained Gandhi from being a true father to his sons.
Unable to put up with this injustice, the disgruntled Harilal decided to go to India to study in a high school in Ahmedabad, quite against his father's wishes. Gandhi wrote on this context, "I see today…in my eldest son…an echo of my own undisciplined and unformulated life. I regard that time as a period of half-baked knowledge and indulgence." Harilal on the contrary held that, depriving one's sons from receiving academic education from schools and colleges as half-baked knowledge, which inevitably harmed their future careers.
Harilal's bold and defying step further estranged their relationship and Gandhi ceased to consider him as his son! As a result, when Harilal decided to get married at the age of 18 in 1906, to the girl Gandhi had chosen for him very early in his life, he decided to remain indifferent which is well-documented in his writings, "It is well if Harilal is married; it is well if he is not. For the present…I have ceased to think of him as a son." Harilal too reciprocated this feeling. But even after everything, he went back to South Africa. His wife joined him there for a brief period. But with every passing day, the conflict of ideologies between Gandhi and Harilal reached its zenith and he finally decided to completely detach himself from his father in 1911 and came back to India for good.
After starting a family of his own, Harilal could never get himself a decent job, due to lack of proper education. Neither being Gandhi's son helped! If any thing, it made things worse for Harilal as Gandhi would dissuade people from offering help or showing any kind of favor. This left Harilal no option but to try his luck in business where he either made losses or got into trouble trying to use unfair means. He was even sentenced to imprisonment by the grace of Gandhi's subtle interference! Therefore, Harilal's family almost lived at the brink of poverty till his wife, Chanchi passed away in 1918, twelve years after his marriage.
Chanchi was the last string of bondage that was holding him back from a wanton life, which he resorted to soon after her death. Henceforth, wine and women became the order of the day for Harilal. He even converted to Islam under the name of Abdullah and started propaganda against his father for which he was rewarded monetarily by unprincipled and unethical publishers. He was taken to custody for misdemeanor in public, several times. Harilal lead a wretched life leading to self-destruction till his death in a tuberculosis sanitarium only two months after Gandhi's death in 1948.
Manilal, Gandhi's second son too has been a victim of Gandhi's strict principles and austerity. Gandhi even compromised with his son's life when it came to adhering to his philosophies! At the age of ten, Manilal fell seriously ill, suffering from typhoid and pneumonia. A Parsi doctor strictly advised him to have eggs and chicken broth without which, he might even die! But Gandhi being the strict vegetarian did not budge from his vegetarianism even if it cost him his son's life! He justified himself with the belief that a man's true faith can only be tested during such critical times. With a lot of difficulty, trying various means, Gandhi was able to save his son's life but without succumbing to what the doctor had prescribed. So obsessed was Gandhi with his principles and ideologies and how he portrayed himself to the world that, even family ties, love and affection could not bog him down!
In March 1909, Gandhi had written from Volkrust prison in South Africa to Manilal that poverty was a blessing and the most important thing was character building and not formal education. He also mentioned that after having read books by great authors like Emerson, Ruskin, Mazzini he has realized that education meant performance of one's duties and not merely gaining knowledge of letters. So, if Manilal succeeded in doing his duties towards his family then he would have received more than half of his education!
So, at the age of seventeen, when one ought to be in high school, Manilal was taking care of his younger brothers Ramdas & Devdas, cleaning tools, digging the garden, keeping a tab of every penny spent in the household just in order to stay true to Gandhi's orders! ?
Gandhi never thought that it was too much of a responsibility or burden at this age! On the contrary, he believed that after the age of twelve no boy should think of amusement but duties towards his family and the society. He preached about three cardinal virtues that one should follow, 'continence in thought and deed, steadfastness to truth and determination and not to take any life'. According to Gandhi, if one were successful in acquiring these virtues then his real education would be complete and this in turn would pave his path to the knowledge of the soul, self and God!
Though Gandhi's principle of abdication of amusement/pleasures of any kind made Manilal somber but women he encountered tried to persuade him that he shouldn't confine himself to a stringent lifestyle, which his father had prescribed for him. One married woman even went to the extent of seducing him, which horrified Gandhi! He fasted peremptorily and not only punished the woman by shaving off her head but also declared that Manilal should never get married! But in 1926, Manilal wanted to marry a Muslim girl named Fatima. But at that point Gandhi was not only opposed to inter-religion marriage but also to inter-caste marriage (surprisingly the same Gandhi who fought for the rights of the Harijans/untouchables of the society)! His logic being that if each of them stuck to their religions then what would be the religion of their children! Manilal, the obedient son respected his father's decision and buried his desires to marry the girl he loved. A year later, he married a hindu girl instead, in his father's presence.
Though Manilal didn't turn out to be a rebel like his elder brother and loved his father a lot, but there are no two ways that he did not approve of his father's stringent ideologies. No matter how dedicated and dutiful he was, Manilal was sent away from his ashram once Gandhi came to know that he has lent Harilal a considerable amount of money as a loan for his business from the ashram fund! He gave Manilal the train fare to go away and earn his living as a hand spinner and weaver on his own! When Manilal was staying with a publisher named G.A. Natesan, Gandhi wrote him a letter saying, that his son should be kept under discipline and should be made to cook his own food and learn spinning.'
Manilal considered those years of living in South Africa, away from Gandhi, to be a life in exile and lamented it greatly. He re-united with his father in 1945 in India and was ecstatic about it. But he was bitterly astonished to find that Gandhi had mellowed down considerably and he even pampered young people around him! Manilal told Gandhi, "Bapu, you made us do laundry work and chop wood…made us take the pick and shovel in the bitterly cold mornings and dig in the garden, to cook and to walk miles. And I am surprised to see how you now pamper these people around you." This statement of Manilal only partially explains what kind of life they were subjected to as sons of the Great Gandhi!
When Manilal was sent to South Africa to edit Indian Opinion, Devdas and Ramdas, the other two sons of Gandhi stayed in India. But both of them felt handicapped, as they did not have formal education. Ramdas came to India at the age of seventeen. In January 1928, he married a girl named Nirmala and settled down in Bardoli. Unlike his father, he cherished rich and spicy food, liked English China and wanted to live well. He used to tell his wife, "Let's be jolly, eat well, and be carefree. Let tomorrow take care of itself." But Indian climate did not suit him so Gandhi sent him back to South Africa. Though Ramdas had little faith in asceticism but he took part in some of the grueling civil protests in the 1930's. Ramdas' wife Nirmala was more tilted towards Gandhi's ideologies of life but their daughter was not and later, went in for western education.
Alone of all the sons, Devdas stayed close to his father and served as his secretary till Gandhi's assassination in 1948. Under the 'Gandhian umbrella', his sons and their families somehow managed their livelihood even with limited abilities. But with Gandhi's death, all hell broke loose, and they had to face the stark reality of life, which proved to be quite harsh. Gandhi's principles and ideologies didn't help them live independent, worry-free lives. Lack of formal education and knowledge got them into dire straits!
Gandhi has contradicted himself and his ideologies through his own actions in more ways than one, which in general, go unnoticed and ignored for 'greater' reasons! Receiving education of the highest degree himself, he chose to ignore his children's education, feeding himself and his sons with illogical theories! He taught his children of doing their rightful duties towards their families when he himself failed to do them on many counts. He never compromised with his image, his philosophies for the well being of his family, the consequences of which they suffered especially after his death. He gave lectures about secularism and talked about 'ram-rajya' or the ideal society where there would be no discrimination whereas he opposed his son Manilal's marriage with Fatima, a Muslim girl! He edited an English newspaper, read English books but didn't want his sons to receive education in English! These are only few examples about Gandhi's conflicting personality! It makes us wonder if he embraced the behavioral attributes of the 'Good Dr' from Robert Louis Stevenson's great novel!
Though he mellowed down considerably in his later life and started allowing things, which he vehemently opposed most time of his life but that couldn't save his family, especially his sons, from the repercussions of his earlier actions. Perhaps even, Gandhi himself realized his mistakes which is evident from his writings, "All my sons have had complaints to make against me… Whenever they came across an M.A. or B.A., or even a matriculate, they seem to feel the handicap of a want of school education." But unfortunately, the realization dawned a bit too late on the Mahatma. Consequently, his family suffered while he lived and suffered even more after his death! Upon revelation of the personal life of the 'family man' Gandhi, one might as well infer that treading upon the path of truth (Satyagraha), which earned him the title of 'Mahatma', actually turned him into a cold and bitter father!
P.S. Above are my personal views on a specific date, not aimed to offend anyone but offer a point of view. Granted, perspectives change with information availability.
